Every person wants to be needed by and special to their
significant other. Entering into a relationship with a person is a tricky deal,
because you have agreed to fulfil this impossible role.
Thus begins the unshakable sense of being alone and disconnected in relationship.
This problem will continue through life, the balance between
the others autonomy and your need to possess them. Women will grapple with this
on the surface.
However, men will not. They will pretend they relationship
is “for” her, as if they are getting little out of it. They have so many other
fulfilling aspects of their life, they can easily make their partner feel as
though the relationship is a gift to her. Sometimes, in extreme cases, they believe
this.
Men want relationship. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t have
it. Men will pretend what they want is ten women or no women, but when it comes
down to it, they are the ones who ultimately get to choose.
If men don’t need
or want to be a relationship, why is almost every man in the entire world, and
every man in the planets history, in relationships? Are they all so generous
and benevolent that they have given this to some woman even though what they
really want is a harem of ten?
No.
The answer to this is simply that they are not very honest
about what they want. It seems manlier to say that you don’t want a
relationship. Men feel that it is capitulating to own up that they want their
one special person who properly understands them.
In romance novels the men are always honest about this
because they are written by women and women think this is the sexsiest, most
attractive thing in the world.
It is the sexiest, most attractive thing in the world. *sigh* If only men could understand that women love men that can dance, are honest, and good to kids and their grandmothers...OH the possibilities!
ReplyDeleteI would say that this phenomenon has more to do with the hormonal reactions that take place in the male body with respect to different lifestages. When men are older and find a partner who they love, they tend to be more willing and indeed desire to settle into a committed role like this. I must admit that at 21 I feel no such compullsions, and the very idea of having my heart tied to a single individual for the rest of my life to be rather limiting. However when I look down the road and create some hypotheticals to gain some perspective on what I will likely want later in life, and compare coming lifestage transitions with previous analagous lifestage transitions (I.e. after puberty, people begin to desire things of a sexual nature. Before puberty, no such desires exist and similary mature adults sometimes desire parenthood and children and/or monogamy. Adolescents and young adults have those desires much less frequently ESPECIALLY members of my sex. There are causative hormonal explanations for this) I come to the conclusion that, in all likelihood, I will someday desire to settle into a committed relationship...probably. I do not feel that compullsion now and might not ever necessarily.
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